So… I put a deposit on a Suzuki AVP. I haven’t even taken one for a test drive. All I know is it’s got a good reputation and it’s a van that fits into the footprint of a car.
It’s a weeny-looking girly van. Or a blokey-looking station wagon trying to
pass itself off as a van. With only two
seats. I’m trying to work out if that
makes it “sport”. Don’t cars become
“sports something-or-other” if they are rendered useless for any more than one
passenger? Doesn’t “sports” actually
mean “not as useful as other vehicles”?
I’m sure that’s the case. “Sports cars” are not as useful as other
cars. “Sports wagons” are not as useful
as other wagons…
What does “AVP” stand for, anyway? “Automobile, Vanlike but Petite”? “Actually, it’s a Vanette, you Ponce”? “Armadillo with Variegated Paws”?
Importantly, it’s a van that costs $20,000
less than the other vans I was considering.
This means it’s much more affordable to invest $3,000-$4,000 in having
extra seats installed. Because, what I
really want in life is a station wagon that can convert into a van at a
moment’s notice.
No, seriously – that actually is exactly
what I’ve been looking for over the past three months. I want a transformer that changes from being
a car into being a different kind of car.
The robot option would be cool, but not entirely practical (what with
the constant battles between the Autobots and the Deceptacons, I’d probably never
get to drive it*).
I want a people mover with back seats that
transforms into a van with no backseats.
The Volkswagen Caddy seems to be the only model that actually does that
on purpose, but it’s also what I like to call “not exactly cheap”. It’s cheaper than others, but not cheap. The AVP is what I call “rather affordable,
really”. Maybe AVP stands for “As Vans
go, reasonably Priced”?
The dude at the local Suzuki shop told me
they wouldn’t get any in for six months.
I was on the verge of buying one on the Gold Coast, flying down and
driving it back when I phoned the guy back and said: “are you sure?” Turns out, he wasn’t. They actually had one due to arrive in two
weeks. It was even the colour I
wanted. The thing only comes in two
colours: white and
invisible-when-raining (they call it “silver”).
The AVP on the Gold Coast was invisible-when-raining, and I was hoping
to avoid that, but I wasn’t going to fly all the way to Sydney to buy a white
car.
I said:
“I’ll take it!” He said: “Okay!”
Then he called me back and said:
“Whoops, sorry, we’ve already sold that one. There’s another due to get here in early
April”. I said: “Is it white?” He said:
“Yes, I believe so.” I said: “I’ll take it!” He said:
“Okay!”
So a month from now I should have a new
car. My car. Bought with my own money. Which I earned by working in a real job. I feel like such a grown up. I mean, sure I don’t have a house, husband,
children or anything resembling a life – but a month from now I will have my
very own car.
I have to think of an appropriate name for
a weeny-looking girly van. I’m thinking
“Vanette”…
* I’d love there to be a third race of
Transformers who are like the Wombles of the Transformer world. Peaceful, pottering around and more
interested in making stuff from scrap than the ultimate battle between good and
evil. They’d be the Passivotons, who
think the Autobots and Deceptacons should really get over this constant
fighting nonsense and do something useful for a change – like actually
providing a transport service, rather than just looking like cars and
planes.
When the Passivotons transform, they’d turn
into power tools and garden implements (which would mysteriously be the right
size for humans to use, even though in their robot form they would be a
fraction larger than humans…)
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