Stank

 I walked through a puddle during a downpour in my gym shoes the other day. My gym shoes, which I not only use to exercise in, I also wear them to and from the climbing gym, where I have (until extremely recently) been changing into the rental shoes and back again, and I'm too lazy to change my socks. So the socks that were in the rental shoes go into my gym shoes in all their sweaty and stinky glory.

I've washed the shoes a few times in the past, and I hit them with tea-tree oil regularly, but they've got a bit of a stank to them that will probably outlast human civilisation.

And then I walked through a massive puddle and soaked them through to the bone (my bones – my feet were well drenched).

And it has been so very humid at the moment, so where I put them to dry was really just a warm cupboard masquerading as my laundry.

Having been wet and warm, they are now the stinkiest shoes in all of Christendom (or so it seems to me, having been in the same car as them on the way to work this morning), and I'm going to wear them tonight.

I'm wondering how to go about apologising to all the other people who will be exposed to the stank.