Things that should exist: Horn Mufflers and Practice Closets.

So, here are a couple of things I want to exist, but I don't have the wherewithal to make them myself, so I'm giving the ideas to the world for free:  Music "Mufflers" and Practice Closets.

One of the main reasons why I don't practise any brass instruments on a regular basis is that I'm usually home at night, my walls are thin, and my neighbours don't need a reason to hate me.

When I mentioned to my mother that I was thinking of getting either a horn or a euphonium she practically threw something at me, before saying the immortal words:

"Must you?  You're terrible."

Now, I can't take offence at that, because I *am* terrible.  It's a known side effect of a) inexperience, and b) lack of practice.

To sound less terrible I would have to play more often.  I don't play very often because I sound terrible.

I don't, in theory, mind sounding terrible while I work on getting better.  It's what you're supposed to do.  Everyone sounds like crap playing every instrument, at first.  It takes time to get good at these things.

The trouble with brass, though, is that it's REALLY LOUD.

I mean, REALLY LOUD.

If, like me, you're nervous about ticking off the neighbours too much, then you feel reluctant to practise properly or often, because the sound carries sooooo darn far, and it sounds quite awful.

You can use a mute, sure, but they don't really lessen the sound as much as you may think.  And they make it hard to play.  You don't sound quite right.  You're not breathing the way you would without the mute.

The best thing to do would find yourself one of those sound-proof rehearsal rooms they have in music schools.  But what if you don't have a handy music school?

This is where the Practice Closet comes in.  Imagine a cupboard, just big enough to fit a person with a chair and a music stand in it (tall enough to stand in, wide enough to move your elbows - maybe different sizes depending on the instrument), that's got sound-proof padding on the walls.  Also air-holes, at least one window and a light, so you don't suffocate or freak out from the sensory deprivation.

This would take up about as much space in your house as a regular closet (a bit shorter in one dimension, and a bit bigger in another), and would give you a space to play as loudly as you need to without too much noise getting out to affect the rest of your household/neighbourhood.

I expect the people in your house would still cop a bit of noise, but hopefully it wouldn't be too obnoxious.

This is something that could work for all musicians.  You'd need a pretty big closet for the pianists and drummers, though.

The Muffler idea is more specifically for brass, and it's an evolution of the mute.  It doesn't wedge into the instrument, but rather boxes around the bell.  There's the same sound-proofing in the box, and some material to wrap around the rest of the horn to dampen the sound coming through the tubing.

It would allow the air to move more freely, so you'd still be playing it more or less like you would au naturel, but the sound would be caught to an extent by the box, rather than squeaking through a mute.

If you decide to make either of these things, please offer me a prototype to test.

Potentially brilliant idea: People lockers

Okay, this one is either going to earn someone a million dollars (probably not me), or just be one of the silliest things I've ever thought of in my life.  Or, someone else is already doing it and I'm just late to the party:

Lockers for people.

You know how you can go to various public places and "rent" a locker for your bags, so they can be safely stored while you go off and do sundry things unencumbered by your goods and chattels?

What it if was possible to rent a locker the size of a narrow single bed, so you could lock yourself away for a nap?

I'm not talking about a pod hotel, or any of that sort of thing.  This won't have any "amenities".  Just a bed - more or less in a cupboard - and about as much head-clearance as you'd get on the bottom bunk of a set of bunk beds.

Singapore's Pod Hotel

Kind of like the really budget level rooms you can find in the Pod Hotel in Singapore, but not actually a hotel.  And way downmarket.  You'd find these things attached to gyms and train stations, or on university campuses.  Or in the same sorts of places you'd find laundromats.

I see it as being something so basic that it wouldn't even involve sheets.  The mattress would be covered in some sort of vinyl that could be easily wiped clean by an attendant.  You can bring your own sleeping bag/liner and travel pillow if you want niceties, or rent something from the attendant.

This isn't for a proper overnight stay, either.  This is for that siesta-type sleep.  You'd hire the locker for half an hour or an hour, lock yourself in the cupboard for a short kip, then use the nearby public "washroom" to freshen up before going back to work or tackling the afternoon's classes.

I've often felt that buildings need nap rooms.

Sometimes you just really need to crash for twenty minutes or so in order to keep functioning somewhat coherently during the day, but there's nowhere really to do that.

In Southern Europe, everyone goes home for two hours at lunchtime in order to get that mid-day snooze into the system, but those of us who were colonised by Britain only get about an hour or so for lunch - and with commute times and what have you, that isn't enough time to get home, let alone eat lunch and catch a nap.

But, if these little nap pods existed, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to just have a sleeping bag at your desk and hire a locker for your nap break.