A little while ago, a friend asked all of his friends what we want to be when we grow up. Not what we "wanted" to be, back when we were kids, but what we "want" to be - as if "growing up" is still ahead of us. He's in his forties. So are most of his friends. I think it was a little bitter-sweet joke acknowledging that most Gen Xers still feel a little lost after all these years. We never did figure out what we were supposed to be. We still feel like kids, waiting to see what happens when we grow up.
But then I realised, I *am* grown up. This is me. Grown up. Sure, I'm only partway through the process. I still have a lot of growing up to do. But this *is* my life. I'm not waiting for it to begin like some Disney Princess. I'm living it, and I'm not wasting it. I'm learning new things every day. I'm spending time with friends and family. I'm making myself useful to the best of my ability. I have a job I wouldn't have planned on when I was a kid, but I love it (most of the time). I am grown up. And I am growing up. It's not something that's going to happen in the future, it's something that has been happening the whole time and is happening as we speak.
I think my generation has been sold this weird idea that one day we'll have it "together", and that day hasn't come yet. We won't. We'll always be a work in progress. And if we stop comparing ourselves to the life we think our parents had at our age (but they probably never had it "together" either), we might realise that we're constantly moving through different versions of being "grown up" - and that's okay.
And we need to stop comparing what we have now with what we wanted/want to be "when we grow up". Because we each have stuff happening in our lives right now that's worth wanting. These are the best years of our lives - and that might sound depressing if you're not where you thought you'd be, but think about the awesome things that you have in your life right now. Not about what you wanted, not about what you thought you'd have, but about what you *do* have that's genuinely good.
When we spend our lives waiting for the perfect wave, rather than riding the one we have right now, we let our life bob away underneath us without paying attention - without enjoying those little waves as they come. I want to say "we need to stop waiting to become something else before we start living our lives", but the point I actually need to make here is that we *are* living our lives. It's just time to engage willingly in the process.
