The Craziest Person Gets Right of Way

I think there should be a new traffic law introduced:

The most demonstrably crazy person gets right of way.

Now, I think I'm justified in thinking that person could very well be the nut-case riding a bicycle in peak-hour traffic during a monsoonal downpour.

Surely, if anyone is willing to get on a bicycle and ride through town even though it's been raining furiously for days, then they deserve a clear berth, right?

It makes sense to me. But then, I'm the kind of crazy person who rides a bike to work during monsoonal weather...

Which leads me to the jacket. I foolishly bought a "spray jacket" last year (because it was on sale), and I've been wearing it whilst riding in the rain these past few weeks.

Thing was, I had already worked out that spray jackets were largely useless garments. I mean, they only protect you from a light spray of water, and then only if the material isn't actually touching anything. Should it touch your clothing or your skin, then you may as well be wearing a garment made from fishnets.

I knew this about spray jackets. I knew that they would not provide any protection from the elements that couldn't be provided by any old shirt. And yet, I bought it - specifically to wear while it was raining.

I tell myself it's because it's bright yellow, has reflective bits and dries quickly, which makes it useful in gloomy, rainy conditions, even if it doesn't provide any protection from the rain. I tell myself that I'm going to change my clothes anyway, so it doesn't matter if I get thoroughly drenched. I tell myself that it makes me look as if I'm meant to be out in the rain, instead of being caught unawares, which must surely give me a bit of cred...

The truth is, I want it to be a raincoat. I really want this thing to keep the rain at bay, at least for a little while. I know it won't, but I want it to. I'm always annoyed and disappointed when I get wet from the slightest spray while wearing it.

Why does it exist? Why does it offer the illusory promise of protection from the elements, when it will not and was never likely to keep that promise?

Why do I buy things that I know will not be useful, even though I find the entire concept of their existence appalling and entirely disagreeable? I'm only encouraging the perpetuation of things that do not deserve to Be. I should be made of sterner stuff.