Other people's positivity

I've just been reading the latest post on Hyperbole and a Half, and I really feel like leaving a long comment on her post but she's maxed out her available comment space.  So I'll just write a comment here.

I can't say anything to the depression bit.  Although I have commented in the past that I often feel completely fogged out or emotionally blank, I don't attribute that to emotional depression so much as being tired and run-down.

I can, however, completely sympathise with the fact that other people are so damn needy with their positivity.

There are so many things I've simply never shared with other people over the years because what I want to say doesn't match the "everything is always fine and wonderful" line that other people seem to want to hear.

The things that I wanted to say were not negative, as far as I was concerned, but just neutral.  These were just things I had observed about myself, and I felt like I could be completely okay and at peace with them...  But you can't say them out loud or people will think you are being negative and try to talk you "around" to a more positive view of things.

Even now I can't give an example, because I really don't want to waste my time by having to read (or hear) someone telling me I shouldn't think like that and "it's all okay".

Well, duh.  Of course it's all okay.  I'm okay with this or that or the other, exactly how it is.  However, when you try to tell me that this, that or the other isn't true and I shouldn't say such negative things about myself, you make it *not* okay.

We don't all walk the same path, we don't all want the same things and we don't all feel soft and squishy in the same places.

Sometimes we just need to let people say what they say and think what they think without expecting them to "sell positive" all the time.

Being extra positive for other people is exhausting.

Allie mentioned how much difficulty she had trying to tell people that she felt suicidal because she didn't want to have to deal with *their* emotions.  I felt like telling her to find someone with Asperger Syndrome because they are so much better at being practical (depending on where they are in the spectrum).

"Normal" people are all "here, feel my feelings", while those of us who have to work hard at the whole empathising thing can more easily switch to "okay, so you just want to hear something practical?  Thank God for that."

You don't have to make things positive to make them "better" or "okay".  And you don't have to cure other people of their (perceived) negativity, just because it doesn't match your desire for positivity.  Let's accept a bit of neutrality in our lives - or at least in others'.