Sabre!

So, it turns out that sabre doesn't make any sense.

I understand all of the pieces that go into a sabre bout... in theory.  But when it actually comes to a bout, it's just a bunch of people who don't know what's happening flailing about with swords and hoping for the best.

Even at the elite level the people in the bout don't know what's happening - that's why they both turn to the judge with "Howzatt!" expressions.  They know someone just won a point, and they're hoping it was them - but they don't seem to actually know.

I was watching some footage from the Olympics earlier, and even in the gold medal match the fencers were all "Yay, I got a point - oh, wait, no I didn't."

Sometimes the judge doesn't even know and just tells them to try again.

I tried a bout for the first time last week, and the girl I was playing with and I kept looking at the judge just to work out why all the lights were flashing.  Turns out I was winning (yay me!), but don't ask me what I was doing.

I had a vague plan (involving a feint-parry-reposte thing) that I sometimes managed to pull off, but most of the time it was just a confused blur of swords and a lot of random flashy lights.

I'm going in a competition Sunday week.

Depending on how many women have applied to be in the sabre comp, I may just end up winning something - which would be the funniest thing ever.

Never underestimate the value of turning up.