My Two Bits - "It Takes Two"

If I were a judge on It Takes Two...

Paul O'Brien, take the lollies out of your ears and listen to this, as it will do you some good. You can't sing. I say this with love - some people just can't sing, and you're one of them. This isn't, however your problem.

You see, Rex Harrison couldn't sing, and his two most famous movies were both musicals. Everyone loved his performance and nobody cared about his lack of singing ability. Glynis Johns couldn't really sing, but Sondheim wrote "Send in the Clowns" and the other songs she sang in A Little Night Music to be songs you don't have to sing well, and everyone loved her performance and nobody cared about her lack of singing ability.

Bob Dylan really can't sing, but hardly anyone cares. Iris Dement can't really sing, but she has six albums and a huge fan base to her name (one that includes me). I can probably rattle off half a dozen other people who can't sing, but have managed to make a career in the music business anyway.

I have seen many performances in which the singing was absolutely terrible, but I didn't mind because the performances were enjoyable. You see, sometimes you can get away with one little flaw as long as you replace it with pizazz. The key is to turn your weakness into your strength, and then play to your strengths.

Own the stage, Paul. Don't think about how much people are listening to your voice. Think about how they are watching you shine - and shine for them. Be so charming and captivating that the fact that you can't sing is just part of the charm. Stop trying to sing the songs and just woo the audience. If you look like you enjoy what you're doing and you're putting on a great show for people who deserve a great show... Well, no one will care about the voice.

You see, Paul, your problem is not that you can't sing. Your problem is that you're acting as if singing badly is a problem. When we watch you, you look like you're embarrassed, apologetic - like you wish you were doing something else.

Stop that. Accept the fact that you sing badly and love yourself for it. Pick songs in which the singing isn't as important as the message in the song, then concentrate on the message and how you're going to make us love you for bringing it to us.

This is the one piece of advice I always tried to instill in my students - sell the illusion and the audience will forgive you for a multitude of sins.

Sell it, Paul. Forget about singing to us and just sweep us off our feet.