Pin-up

I think it's safe to say that every woman in the Western World had a “pin-up boy” when she was *ahem* younger. Someone whose talent may have been dubious, but whose “prettiness” was beyond question. Someone whose face adorned a wall, a spot near the mirror, the inside of a locker or the back of a bedroom door – somewhere it could be seen on a regular basis everyday because, for some reason she will never be able to fully account for, seeing that face just made the day seem somehow brighter.

For a brief and shining moment, this “pin-up boy” can do no wrong. If they are a terrible singer or an average-at-best actor, these things go unnoticed, forgiven and vehemently denied for several years. If they are actually half-way decent at what they do, than the devotion is all the more justified and sweet.

Over the years, the pictures/posters may get covered up by others, moved, folded up and placed in a scrapbook of memories or thrown in the trash like so much old paper, but deep down every woman caries a soft-spot for her pin-up boy. She will still forgive him his terrible singing and bad acting. She will still pause for a moment whenever she sees a picture of him and savour the old, familiar lines of his face. She will still feel sorely tempted to see his latest movie, buy his come-back album, watch a TV show just because he's in it or go to see his concert if he's in the country.

This is the reason why otherwise sane, sensible, middle-aged women leave their teenagers to fend for themselves while they drive half-way across the country to go to a concert by someone their kids have never heard of, act like teenage girls and throw their underwear at (let's face it) old men who haven't been able to hit the old high notes for years. It's all for the sake of that boy whose face adorned the back of their bedroom door and made the day seem brighter.

My pin-up boy was a Superboy.

No, I mean that, literally: Gerard Christopher, the second actor to play the role of Superboy in the TV series from the late 80s/early 90s. I first watched the show when I was ten, and didn't quite register just how spunky this guy was until it was repeated a few years later.

Sure, the first actor to play the role (John Haymes Newton) was actually a better actor. To be honest, Gerard's acting ability is about on-par with most actors who have worn the “S” - that is to say, roughly on par with the marionettes in the Thunderbirds. But the guy was definitely pretty:



Okay, for those strange people out there who can't take a man seriously when he's wearing tights, here's a picture of him wearing a T-Shirt:



And here's a picture of him not wearing a T-Shirt (isn't the 'Net grand?):



Are we on the same page now? Good.

Now, there is a good chance you've probably never heard of this guy before, and there are a few good reason for that:

• His “hit” TV series (which should have launched him to fame and fortune) was more or less boxed up and hidden in an attic by Warner Brothers in order to protect their new “hit” series, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, and thus it was never syndicated and only repeated in a small number of countries outside the US.


• He immediately followed up this role with a part in a very, very bad Western TV miniseries (actually a couple of telemovies based on two different books by the same author, but screened as a miniseries). How bad? Well, so bad they include lines like “I've got things to do, places to be,” spouted by cowboys just before they ride into the sunset. All the actors are horrible and wooden – even the ones who shouldn't be, like Martin Sheen. Oh, and they're R rated because they include a couple of completely pointless scenes with bare breasts – without which they could probably be screened on a Saturday afternoon without trouble.


• The only movie he's starred in that was actually half-decent was independently funded and took five years to get out of the festival circuit and onto the Hallmark channel.


• His agent clearly sucks. I mean, seriously, the guy is damn pretty and there are hundreds of crappy TV shows being filmed in the US every day – you couldn't get him a decent range of guest-star spots, or a pilot here and there? He's perfect for playing a “token hot guy” or a man in uniform or something.

Anyway, it has to be said that, I'm still likely to see anything he's in – no matter how terrible it is. And, if I ever get to become a Jerry Bruckheimer or something, there's going to be a role for Gerard Christopher in every thing I do.

Sad, but true.