Free Wyoming

Over the course of the last football (soccer) season, I've come to the conclusion that a large number of the people who attend live matches aren't actually interested in football at all - they're just there to hear the sound of their own voice.

They don't come to watch, they come to yell. Usually something that could be considered "witty", if not for the fact that it's completely stupid:

"They must be paying peanuts, ref, because they sent the monkey up here!"

Hunh? This is supposed to make you seem superior to the referee how, exactly? Whatever happened to the good old fashioned "Are you blind?" for ref slanging?

Then there are the yelling groups. Here in Townsville, we have the F-Troop. Supposedly dedicated Fury fans, they formed before anyone even knew who was in the team and came up with all sorts of things they could yell in order to support a team they had never seen play. That, to me, suggests they exist solely to yell. The football team is merely a convenient excuse.

This is further confirmed by paying the slightest bit of attention to the things they are yelling. I'd say maybe a third of their chants are actually intended to encourage the team. Another third is dedicated to insulting the other team, the individual players of that team, the supporters of that team, the ref - and possibly even the ref's mother, for all I know. The remainder (and possibly the largest share) is dedicated to praising the virtues of the F-Troop.

That's right, these people come to a football match and spend a large chunk of their time cheering themselves:

"We are the F-Troop!"
"We're F-Troop, We're F-Troop, We're F-Troop over here!"
"Green-White Army *grunt* *grunt*"

Not that it really matters - the F-Troop are so bad at gang vocals that it takes a very long time to figure out what they're actually saying. It took me three matches before I realised they were chanting "Green-White Army" and not "Free Wyoming".

Now, I knew they couldn't be shouting "Free Wyoming", because that would be the most bizarre political statement on the face of the earth - especially coming from a bunch of drunk football hooligans in North Queensland.

Still, even now, whenever they start that chant I have to resist the urge to call out: "Yes! Wyoming must be free!"

For the last game of the match I actually forked out money for a chair in the Eastern grandstand rather than sitting on the grass on the southern side like I normally do, and I was finally close enough to the F-Troop to work out that one of their chants is not entirely about themselves after all - they use it to declare their love... for the people sitting in the Eastern Grandstand.

"Oh, Eastern, we love you!"

Yeah, these guys are here for the game.

Free Wyoming.