Monopoly

If the world were a giant game of monopoly, then it would make perfect sense for someone to buy Russia out of the Baltic Sea.

Seriously. Whenever Russia starts looking at buying boats, all of the other countries on the Baltic Sea put a hand on their metaphorical sword-hilts while trying to look nonchalant. Wouldn't it just be easier if they all pitched it to buy that weird little piece of Russia that sits between Poland and Lithuania?

Sure, Russia would still have that stretch of land in the Gulf of Finland, so Estonia would still have to keep looking over her shoulder, but at least that's on the same side of the country as the land boarder. It makes for easier deployment of defences...

Not that anyone would think of deploying defences, of course. The very suggestion would be an insult to Russia. You just ask the Russian government. The same Russian government that thinks it's perfectly reasonable to bolster their own defences against...

What, exactly? Is anyone thinking of invading Russia? I know the French and the Germans gave it a good try before realising that invading Russia is a bad idea. That was quite a few years ago, though, and if history has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that invading Russia is a bad idea.

My knowledge of Russian history is admittedly limited, but from what I remember Russia's greatest threats have all been in-house. The only people even capable of taking on the Russians in Russia are other Russians.

The Chinese might be able to do it, but quite frankly I think they'd just focus on that part of Eastern Russia out to the Sea of Okhotsk. Even that might fall into the too-hard basket.

The fact of the matter is that only Russians are capable of making a decent fist of Russia. They're the only race on the planet with the fortitude for it - with the possible exception of the Inuit, but when was the last time the Inuit ever invaded anyone?

The Vikings could have done it, I suppose, but I think we're out of those now.

So, here we have a country which is is known for a) being really difficult to invade, and b) quite successfully invading other countries. And Russia feels she has a legitimate reason to keep a "defensive" presence in the Baltic Sea, which will be easy enough to justify for as long as there is a piece of Russia touching the Baltic Sea.

So, why don't the other countries with Baltic frontage buy them out? I'm sure it could be done - if not wholesale, then piece by piece. It's the 21st Century, after all, and everything has a price...