To the New Boss

Our new manager is starting on Monday, but I'm going to be away for that week. I thought I might leave her a note like this to welcome her:

Hello, and welcome to John Chefton University*. I hope you enjoy a challenge.

John Chefton is something of a chaotic entity. On its good days, it's kind of like a Catholic mother in the depression era: Trying valliantely to make ends meet with 12 kids, a nogoodnik bum of a husband and not enough food vouchers to go around.

On its bad days, it's more like a cross between the "Poseidon Adventure" and "Towering Inferno" - upside-down, sinking and on fire.

Nothing will ever be easy - nothing will ever be simple or straightforward. Nothing will ever be even remotely logical. The sooner you make your peace with this, the better.

However, you have managed to land yourself one of the finest groups of people with whom I have ever had the privilege of working.

These people are problem solvers, miracle workers and damn fine librarians. They are, to put it mildly, brilliant.

And I mean "brilliant" in multiple senses of the word. They are intelligent. They are ingenious. They are creative. They are very good at what they do - and there isn't a single one of them who doesn't "do" more than you would justifiably expect. They don't just "make do" with what they have - they make something so good you wouldn't believe they were practically working with nothing.

And they are "bright" - like points of light in the gloom. If you were going to be trapped in a disaster movie, this is the group of people you want to be trapped with. You might just make it out alive.

Oh, and don't worry about that weird habit they have of swearing and throwing things at the walls. I've worked out it's they way they avoid getting so frustrated with the way things "work" that they set fire to the buildings themselves. You may also develop this habit. It's only going to become a problem if we move to an open plan office...


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent