Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Ultimate Solution

Of course, if you really want to avoid the problem of having to fend of vampires from the unreliable safety of a vampire-proof bunker that's bound to fail eventually, you could just jump the cue and become a vampire earlier in the piece.  No messy, being-pulled-to-pieces-by-vampiric-hoards scenes, that way.

Ever since I read Matheson's I Am Legend, I've found the movie adaptations a bit, well, wimpy.  They completely chicken out on the ending.  Both The Omega Man with Charlton Heston and I am Legend with Will Smith insist on bringing in a real live human girl (forgive the spoilers, but I can assure you there ain't no human girl in the book) and a promise of an enclave of human survivors.  Neville's great contribution to the world is helping humanity.

Pfft!

In the book, it turns out that he's pretty much the last man standing - and he had the situation all wrong.  He wasn't a lone human holding out against mindless monsters that were trying to eat him (although they kind of were trying to eat him); he was a scary serial killer murdering innocent vampires in their sleep.

In the book, everyone who survived the plague became a vampire.  Everyone.  Neville was really the only exception (that we know of).  What was left of society went a little crazy for a short time (well, wouldn't you if you had died and suddenly everyone was a vampire - including you?), and then they got over it.

It's such a brilliantly simple idea.  If everyone is a vampire, then vampires are the normal people.  You get over it and get on with it.  You form yourself a nice little vampiric society where you don't have to worry about being attacked by the vampires.  The only thing you have to worry about is the occasional human serial killer who goes around staking vampires in their sleep.

But those Hollywood types do like to hold out hope for humanity...

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