Plastic wood and brass

This is something I think about occasionally:

I have recorders, right?  They used to be made out of wood (okay, the "good" ones still are), but now they're made out of plastic.

I also have a fife made out of plastic.  Those things used to be metal (okay, the "good" ones still are).

I've seen tin whistles made out of plastic.  Those things used to be made of tin, I think (okay, the "good" ones still are).

And I also own a number of plastic mouthpieces for sundry brass instruments.  And when I say sundry, I mean sundry - I have mouthpieces for French horns, euphoniums and mellophones - I've never played any of these instruments.  Heck, I've never even been in the same room as a mellophone.  Let's just say I'm a sucker for a sale item.

Anyway, the point is I have bits of brass instruments that are made out of plastic which were once made out of brass, or something very much like brass (okay, the "good" ones still are).  The same company that made my plastic mouthpieces are now also selling plastic clarinet barrels - once made of wood, I believe...

And I've just discovered that student level clarinets are almost entirely made out of plastic.  Except for one company which is proudly declaring they make theirs out of rubber.  Ooookay.

So, if cheap but functional wind instruments and brass bits can be made out of plastic, why aren't there more plastic "brass" and "woodwind" instruments in the world?

Well, there kind of are.  You can buy a flute made out of the same ABS plastic as the clarinets, which is cheaper than a flute made out silver-plated metal (ooh, there's an interesting concept - using plastic for a "woodwind" instrument that's normally made out of metal).  You can also get trumpets made of ABS plastic.  And someone is manufacturing plastic trombones.  They come in different colours, so you can get a flute in electric blue or a purple trumpet.  Who wouldn't want one of those?

Good luck finding them in a shop.  The student market for instruments seems to be all stitched up with cheap metal instruments that are still more expensive than the plastic stuff.  And, as someone who owns a cheap metal instrument, I really wish it was made out of plastic - I think it would be better quality.  If my pocket trumpet was made out of the same plastic as my alto recorder, it would be a much better instrument.

So why aren't these being mass-produced by dozens of Chinese companies and sold to children?

And, since we can do it with flutes, trumpets and trombones, why not produce the rest of the woodwind/brass family in moulded plastic?

If I were a parent of school children, I'd much prefer to buy them some plastic thingy to learn with until they've proven they're going to stick with it.  If my idiot kid decides s/he wants a trombone for Christmas, but I know s/he's going to keep it up for about a year and then leave the dang thing in a cupboard for the rest of his/her life, I'm totally going to buy him/her the cheapest trombone I can get.

Heck, I practically am raising one of those idiot kids:  me.  I want the toys, but I know what my attention span is like, so I want to buy myself the cheapest toys.  I have a feeling I'm not alone.

So, Chinese manufactures and British/American designers - get onto this.  I want a plastic French horn to go with my mouthpiece, and I want it reasonably soon...