Human Powered Pentathlon...

I'm of two minds about the Modern Pentathlon.

On the one hand, it is surely one of the coolest sports on the planet.

I mean, cross-country running, swimming, fencing, horse-riding and pistol shooting?  What's not to love?

On the other hand:  Horse-riding and pistol shooting?  What is this, the Roaring Twenties?  Who can afford that kind of crap in this day and age?

And do you have any idea how difficult it is to take up gun-sports in Australia?  We aren't America, you know.  After our last major mass shooting incident we put in laws restricting gun ownership and use.

I caught some of the Youth Olympics this year and noticed they use laser guns instead of actual pistols for some of the Modern Pentathlon events.  That is somehow both very cool and slightly disappointing.  I mean, what's the point of a target sport that doesn't leave a mark on the target?

What I want to know is why there isn't a completely human powered alternative.

I know the idea of the Modern Pentathlon was to create a sport that encapsulated the skills necessary for a soldier at the turn of the 20th century, but can't we play with the format a little?

I'm not saying we should get rid of, alter or replace the MP, just that we should create a new variation to cater for those of us who aren't quite so Light Horse Brigade.  There can be the Modern Penthathlon and there can be the Human Powered Penthathlon.

The Human Powered Penthathlon could keep the cross-country running, swimming and fencing, but replace the pistol shooting with archery and the horse riding with cyclo-cross.  So, basically a really muddy triathlon with archery and fencing added for good measure.

If we move the swimming event into a "lake", we can do the whole thing in one open-air location.

Okay, technically cyclo-cross is a winter game and the rest of the MP belongs in the summer roster, but I think that a) it can cope with the move, and b) it's not like cyclo-cross is currently in the Winter Olympic Games or anything anyway.

It should be though.

Pyeongchang, are you listening to me?  Stick cyclo-cross in the roster for the Winter Olympic Games.

Do it.