Oscar is a Time Lord!

It makes sense. It makes perfect sense.

How else could Oscar possibly fit so much into one trash can unless it was bigger on the inside than it is on the outside?

Time Lord technology! Clearly, his garbage can is a TARDIS that landed on Sesame Street and the chameleon circuit made it blend in with the surrounding junk.

I wonder if Oscar originally looked human, but the chameleon arc technology turned him into a monster to blend in with the other monsters that inexplicably populate the neighbourhood? Maybe the arc has been misplaced amongst all the other junk, which is why he honestly believes he is "a grouch".

I wonder what strange danger is soon to befall the residents of Sesame Street as a result of having a Time Lord in hiding in their neighbourhood? I mean, they're already overrun with monsters - what else could happen to them?

...Unless... Could it be that Oscar is actually hiding from the monsters, who came to Sesame Street to find him and ended up just sticking around because of all the sunny days, sweet air, songs and games? Could the TARDIS have chosen to turn Oscar into a grouch because disguising him as a monster was the perfect way to keep him safe from other monsters?

The plot thickens.

Mary Poppins, coming down.

For a while now (about four years, give or take) I've been secretly thinking of myself as Mary Poppins.

Not just because I'm "practically perfect in every way" or because I burst into song at the drop of a hat, but because I seem to be living a very temporary existence. I blow in for a short period of time, and blow out when the wind changes. In the mean time, I'd like to think I try to leave the places I've been slightly better off for having me there.

This doesn't always work. In spite of my good intentions I have left a few places a little worse for having me there, rather than better for it, but I try to be at least friendly and polite enough that no one can really hate me - even if I deserve it.

Anyway, it seems as if I might be staying still for at least a year. Possibly longer. In the same place where I've already been staying for a whole year. And by choice.

All these things seem strange and new to me. Like Mary Poppins renting out a cottage while she runs the local preschool for a year.

And the weird thing is, I had a chance to blow away again. I was offered a really good job in another town. I really wanted to take it too, but I realised I'd probably be looking to blow away again in another year or two, and that wouldn't be fair to them. At least, where I am, they're just happy to have me here for now. Then, when the wind changes, they won't be too terribly put out to see me go.

Strange logic, I know: stay still so I can leave. I'm not sure how well it would work, but I'll find out soon enough, I suppose.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the handle of my umbrella has been trying to get my attention for a while now...

Stupid People

There is an undeniable and universal truth: People are stupid, and some people are really, really stupid.

Recently, a few people at the university were getting scammed by some phishing emails purporting to be from university admin and asking for their full name, date of birth, username and password.

In response to these emails, the real admin sent out a warning to everyone, telling people not to answer any emails that asked for all of these details as no one official would ever ask for them. Of course, to explain this, they had listed exactly what details these phishing emails were asking for...

And people supplied them.

That's right, people answered the administration email which told them to never give these details to anyone by handing over said details.

There was nothing terribly confusing about this email. It used the word "never" several times and "do not" on a number of occasions. Most people just didn't read it. They scanned the mail, saw something that asked for details and handed them over without really noticing who they were giving them to or for what purpose.

In all fairness, some of these people were not entirely conversant in English and probably didn't have time to sit down and translate the whole thing, but still...

The joy of it all is that, as the person on the front desk, I get to tell these people that they can't get into their accounts because administration declared them as a security risk and blocked their access. I have to explain to them what they did wrong in such a way that encourages them to think about it more carefully next time.

It is hard to think of a polite way to do this. Especially when every part of you is begging to say "You're computer privileges have been revoked due to the fact that you don't read anything and you're stupid. From now on you may only use print material and the actual mail service. Even the use of the telephone is probably not advised."

It's no wonder there are so many scammers out there - it's like taking candy from a baby.

For future reference, no one in any official capacity will ask you to send them confirmation of every piece of security information. No one in any official capacity will ask you to send them your password. No one in any official capacity will ask you to send them any details of worth unless you've asked them to do something first.

Here's the way it works - first, you ask for a service, then they ask for some information. If someone contacts you asking for information when you haven't asked them for anything first, treat it very suspiciously. Especially if they haven't contacted you by name or given you your membership number as proof that they actually do know you you are and have some reason for contacting you.

This goes for banks, universities, PayPal or any other service you might use.

My Favourite Line for Today

Catching up on old Agnes comics, I came across this beauty from the days leading up to Valentines Day:

I now love you with the white hot passion that sane people consider inappropriate.

I'm going to have to find a way to use that line one day.

Pedestrians!

The more I ride my bike, the more pedestrians really annoy me.

I don't begrudge them the use of the roads and footpaths, but do they really have to walk right up the middle of the path and weave from side to side so you can't safely pass them either way?

And, when they walk in packs, why must they take up every available inch of path even if they don't have to? It never ceases to amaze me how humans will completely take up whatever space is available for them. So you have a path that's wide enough for four people to walk abreast? Those two people walking side-by-side will walk in such a way that they take up all of that space. Then they'll look at you funny for trying to pass them.

I "passed" (with some difficulty) two people the other day - one of whom was carrying an inflatable dolphin. They walked up either side of the path carrying the dolphin in the space between them. Why? There is no reason to take up so much space, just because it's there.

The worst pedestrians are small children and old people. A two-year-old child will veer to your side of the road and walk straight towards you - and it won't even occur to them that the bike heading towards them might be a problem. As for old people? They have every right to go up the middle of the path and take their time. But they don't hear you when you ring your bell or call out "bike!", and then they give you dirty looks when you try to overtake them while they're tottering about in the middle of nowhere.

The thing that really gets me about pedestrians, though, is that they seem to have no concept that they are actually the most flexible people in any given situation. If a pedestrian and a bike both have to negotiate a tricky bit of path at the same time, the pedestrian is better able to (literally) side-step the situation. The cyclist has a few issues, involving speed, size and some certain laws of physics that make it harder for them to move out of the way. Does this occur to people on foot? No. They just keep walking their own track and expect you to move around them.

Strangely, I haven't noticed people wearing mp3 players as being worse behaved. Largely, they seem quite happy to stick to one side of the path and move in a fairly straight line. I would have thought they'd be much more oblivious to the people around them. Maybe they just know they might be and make a point of staying out of everyone's way rather than worry about it?

More people should do that.

Anniversary of the Declaration of the Republic of Estonia

"Actually, I am Estonian."

It still feels weird saying that. I've spent my entire life being aware of Estonia, but not really knowing that much about it. Suddenly, it turns out that I actually am Estonian.

It feels like I should say I've become Estonian recently, although I've technically "been" Estonian (at least, that's how I justified getting the Estonian passport).

If I had taken out Estonian citizenship, or something, there would have been some sort of ceremony. I would have been able to say a few words (that I would probably have mispronounced), shake a dignitary's hand and have some sort of official declaration that "now, you are an Estonian."

Instead, because I took advantage of the fact that my grandmother left Estonia because of the War (and the Estonians are desperate for numbers), it was more a case of "oh, by the way, you're Estonian."

All of my life I've been Australian with one grandparent who was born in Estonia (a grandparent who helped raise me, mind). Now, all of a sudden, I'm an Estonian-Australian (or is it an Australian-Estonian), and I always have been.

It's bizarre on a few levels, but it's also fun. Lot's of exploring to do.

Since my grandmother came over here when she was a child, married a British immigrant when she was still quite young and promptly moved far away from any Estonian community, she did what many immigrants did and "forgot" most of the culture from her country of birth. She lost the language and almost everything else (except the cooking - we still managed to eat a lot of Estonian food in our family).

From the time I was a child I was always trying to pump more information out of her. While I always took pride in what culture I could lay claim to as a White Australian (bush dancing, folk songs, damper, that sort of thing), there was something in me that just wanted to be a part of something older. Seeing as most of my grandparents came from the UK originally, with a lot of Scottish heritage in the mix, part of me always looked to Scotland for that "something older", but I also wanted to learn more about this place my grandmother came from - and from which I inherited my fondness for pickled food...

However, asking my grandmother was about as useful as a cheese burger to a drowning elephant. She didn't remember most of it and didn't really care about the rest. Trying to find out more mainly resulted in a "why?" "what could you possibly need to know that for?" "does it matter?"

Now that I amEstonian, this is my culture with which I'm getting acquainted. I have a legitimate reason to care about Estonian history and customs. And I have a whole new range of holidays and anniversaries I have some claim to.

Take the Anniversary of the Declaration of the Republic of Estonia (aka Estonian Independence Day). That fell last Sunday (24th February). I completely forgot about it during Sunday, but since Monday morning was still Sunday evening in Estonia I feel I managed to do a little bit of observing. I read the speech by the President, for example.

I suppose I can also pretend I actually did do something on the Sunday that could be construed as reasonably celebratory - I took my Estonian grandmother to the Strand and we ate hot chips while looking out across the sea to the island. Sure, that's far more Australian than Estonian, but there were bays and islands and potatoes involved. That's a little bit Estonian.

Just like me, really.

Fancy-pants swim suit

So, I've gone and signed up for this half-triathlon thing that's happening in Julia Creek in just over a month (yes, I have completely lost my marbles), and I've started cobbling together something resembling "preparation".

This "preparation" involves swimming/riding/running a few times a week (soon to double) and looking at whether I can do it with what I already own, or if I need to invest in new stuff.

The other day, I rode to and from the pool in my swimming gear. That's when I discovered my swimming gear isn't terribly comfortable for riding. I decided I didn't particularly want to ride 25k wearing it. Running for 5k would probably be just as uncomfortable - if not more so.

Now, I was thinking about what sort of clothes would be comfortable for completing all three legs when I came across a shop in Brisbane which sold "race suits" that were especially designed for such things. Unfortunately, I found this shop online, and I usually prefer to try things on in the store before I buy them. However, Townsville stores seem to be bereft of anything similar, and I was okay with the price and style of the thing in Brisbane, so I handed over my credit card number and had this fancy-pants swim suit mailed to me.

Thankfully, it does actually fit. Once it's on, it's actually quite comfortable(ish). I can definitely see myself wearing whilst swimming, riding and running. I cannot, however, see myself wearing only it. It looks ridiculous. Or, rather, I look ridiculous wearing it.

It's really hard to get on, too. I feel as if I've already managed to get some of my exercise for the day after struggling with the darn thing for five minutes. Oh, and I recently discovered that parts of it go transparent when wet (thank God they aren't important parts).

The getting wet thing was something I wouldn't be able to tell at try-on phase anyway, so I don't feel too gipped.

Of course, now I definitely have to go into some triathlon somewhere - otherwise I just bought a hideously ugly fancy-pants swim suit for nothing.