Bonox

“Which beverage has more beef extract: tea, coffee or Bonox?”

I thought that question was hilarious when Shaun Micallef used it in Talkin’ Bout Your Generation some months ago. It’s probably less funny regurgitated in a blog, but you get that. Most things aren’t funny when regurgitated.

I’m a fan of Bonox. I can’t bring myself to think of it as a beverage, though. Yes, I have been known to mix a teaspoon of the stuff with a cup of hot water and drink it – but in that format it’s an instant beef broth, and that’s more like a soup than a beverage. It occupies the same space in my head as a packet of cup-a-noodle soup, not tea and coffee.

Like Vegemite, Bonox is a bit of an acquired taste. You have to give it a few goes before it becomes something you actually enjoy. Then it becomes something you oddly crave on cold afternoons. Especially when you have a cold.

I used to keep a jar of it in the cupboard when I lived in Tasmania. Meatloaf just doesn’t taste as good without a teaspoon of the stuff mixed in, and it’s perfect for making gravy. Plus, there’s that whole “instant beef broth” thing.

Tasmania is the reason why I took the time to acquire a taste for the stuff. I found myself constantly wanting something warm to drink, but occasionally over tea and coffee. Every now and then you want something a bit salty. Yes, I know I sometimes put salt in my coffee, but I didn’t do it back then – and you never put enough salt in the coffee to make it taste salty anyway.

I’ve always wondered why you don’t have to refrigerate it. It’s made out of beef extract, right? It’s some sort of weird goopy liquid, right? Don’t you usually need to refrigerate goopy liquids made from animal products? Or do the yeast extract and vegetable gum act as preservatives? Who knows?

I’ve probably described it in a way that’s sent any vegans, vegetarians or people-who-turn-pale-at-the-thought-of-kidneys away to hug something near and dear. Sorry about that.

I haven’t had the stuff for years, but with this current cold I’ve just been craving it. I finally managed to pick some up on Saturday, and it was just lovely sitting in the sun with a cup of warm broth on the weekend.

I must remember to take some with me the next time I go camping. It’s nourishing in a way that tea isn’t.

When I picked it up in the supermarket, I noticed another brand next to it. Can’t remember the name of it at present. There were just the two beef-extract-beverage-thingies, and I vaguely considered buying the second one because it came in a smaller container (more likely to use it all before it passes the use-by date), but then I remembered Marmite.

If you’ve grown up on Vegemite, Marmite tastes horribly, horribly wrong. Someone once served me Marmite instead of Vegemite, assuming there was little difference. They were wrong, breakfast was ruined and I’ve never touched Marmite since. I suppose I should give it another go. I’ve managed to talk myself into liking a whole range of things I once hated. But then, I can’t even remember the last time I saw Marmite in the shop. This is Vegemite country, after all.

I figured that, if it was Bonox I knew and loved, and Bonox I was craving, buying a different brand was a bit like reaching for the Marmite when you wanted Vegemite.

This post isn’t going anywhere at all, really. I’ve just been spending the better part of a week thinking “Mmmm. Bonox. I could really do with a cup of that right now” – which isn’t all that useful when you don’t have any Bonox in the house.

Got some now, though, so it’s all good.