Not learning Italian

There are several reasons behind why I am not learning Italian.

I don't have time for such shenanigans, I'm never going to use it, there isn't anywhere where people speak Italian where they wouldn't speak English or German (or French), I don't know anyone who speaks Italian, the Australian-Italian Festival in Ingham is boring (I'm sorry, but it is*) and, aparently, I already know Italian (although I'm not convinced).

Besides, the language is almost entirely gendered. There is no true "it", per se, in Italian - almost everything you see is either a "he" or a "she" (there is an "it", but it comes in two forms: masculine and feminine).

That was the one thing that was easier about Estonian than other languages like French and German - the language is gender neutral. Heck, Estonian doesn't even have separate words for "he" and "she" (everyone's an "it", baby!). Languages which, like German, insist inanimate objects have genders and require specific articles (etc) based on that gender are just a little bit daft, really.

And at least, in German, a few things are genuinely neutral (one of those things, oddly, is the word "girl").

And, from what I can tell, The genders Italian uses for inanimate objects are different from those used in German ("chair", for example, is masculine in German but feminine in Italian), and wants more of the other words in the sentence to agree with the gender. (Okay, French is like that too, but I'm complaining about Italian at the moment. French will have to wait).

A chair is neither masculine nor feminine, people! To apply a gender to it is entirely arbitrary, which is why neighbouring countries can come up with different genders for the same words.

Italian! You are English's biological father! German! You are English's mother! Why can you not learn from your children and start applying genders only when they are physically appropriate? Or, better yet, follow the lead of your Finno-Ugric cousins and do away with them entirely!

I truly believe the world is a better place when you only need one word for "the" and I can discuss my chair without saying "I sit on him".

Trying to face this nonsense with German is bad enough. Trying to deal with the same nonsense, only with completely different nonsensical applications? That hardly sounds like a fruitful use of my limited cognitive space.

So, definitely not learning Italian.

And, ah, I'd kind of appreciate it if you didn't ask how I know about the gender thing for Italian. It's, um, "complicated". Yeah, complicated. Not because I'm learning Italian. I am so not learning Italian.




*So is the Greek Festival in Townsville, by the way. Then again, maybe they'll both prove me wrong this year.