Butter

Now, if I were vegan, I would not have thought the butter was worth keeping. Then I would not have put it in my pocket to take back to the office. Then I would not have forgotten about it. Then I would not have dairy products smeared all over my wallet and keys.

Then again, if I was smart, I would probably have managed to avoid this fiasco anyway.

Woe is me, then, that I am both omnivorous and not-very-intelligent.