This is something I wrote back when I was in high school, but for some reason I feel it is appropriate for the day:
Just stand still for a moment
I want to remember the way you look
The way the world all around us is
Just right now
Life goes by much too quickly
We never think about the way things change
But bit by bit the world gets rearranged
And before you know it, it's thirty years from now
Just stand still for a moment
And spare a thought for all our yesterdays
The many times we should have stopped to say
"Just right now"
Life goes by much too quickly
We never think about the things we lose
But there's too much of life that we misuse
And before you know it, it's thirty years from now
Just stand still for a moment
And look around you at this place we're in
We may never pass this way again
Just right now
Life goes by much too quickly
We never think about the passing days
But all to soon we'll all be old and grey
And before you know it, it's thirty years from now.
None of the people who were at my 15th birthday were at my 20th. None of the people from my 20th were at my 25th. None of the people from my 25th will be at my 30th. I doubt the people at my 30th birthday will be at my 35th. These things happen in this modern world.
Look at the people who are in your life today. You can't keep them, but you can remember them - so pay attention.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Somewhere else
There's another universe, not too far removed from this one. Just a couple of degrees, really, in the grand scheme of things. Far enough that we cannot see it. Close enough that we can sometimes feel it.
In this other universe, there's another earth - and on this other earth, there's another me. She's not that far removed from the me who's typing these words - only a matter of degrees in the grand scheme of things.
We followed the same path, made the same decisions and moved in the same direction for the first nineteen years of our lives. Then, at some point (I'm not sure exactly where or when) she turned left when I turned right. From that moment on a series of small steps, minor choices and insignificant decisions lead our paths further away from each other until, six months later, she was in a different place to me both physically and metaphorically.
And so it happened that she said "hello" to someone I've never met, under circumstances in which in I probably would have said nothing. Some weeks after that she said "yes" when I would have found a reason to say "no". A few months later, she took a risk I would have been too afraid to take, and it paid off. It wasn't long after that she found a reason to change her surname (something I've never particularly wanted to do), and as the years passed she made several more decisions and changes to her lifestyle that I have never been interested in making.
And now, almost ten years later, as we both stare down the barrel of a certain birthday, we are in very different place, both physically and metaphorically.
She lives in a different city, is married and has three children. She's recently gone back to work as a teacher aide in a kindergarten, doing her bit to pay off the mortgage they owe on a house that's been feeling too small for a while now. They're thinking of selling up and moving out to the country - somewhere further south, like Victoria.
She has this dream, you see, of a big, sprawling farmhouse somewhere in the country. A place fit for a large family (maybe as many as six kids) - someplace where their grandkids can come every summer and run wild. She wants a place in a colder climate - maybe somewhere where it snows in winter. And she wants a place big enough for a small orchard with apple and cherry trees and a large vegetable garden.
She envisions days spent tending the farm and taking care of her family - a life that rolls with the seasons: pruning, sowing, tending, harvesting. Sewing clothes for her kids and grandkids, making quilts for friends and family, bringing in the harvest and making vinegar, jam and cider.
She'll be involved with the local community groups, getting together with the other women to make and create and grow and do. To organise and plan and help make the town a home - a community.
And between these things - these acts of living - she'll write novels and articles for magazines. Maybe she'll never be a great writer, but she might get some things published and she'll amuse herself in the meantime. After all, deep down she's always wanted to be a story teller.
I know these things about her because we aren't so far removed, really - only a couple of degrees in the grand scheme of things. Occasionally, when the stars align, our daydreams overlap. I see these things she wants for her future, and I can feel them pulling at me. Things I don't normally think I want. Things that don't lie in my path.
If I had spent the last ten years living her life instead of mine, perhaps I could look forward to this future she dreams of. But I didn't, and I don't have the groundwork she has laid for herself. Maybe some of these things will fall into my reach, but many of them never will.
And, to be honest, if you asked me - me - what I want for my future, I couldn't really say this future she dreams of is the future I would choose. Especially if I was being practical and thinking about the steps that are logically available for me to take.
And yet, every now and then, I notice I have brought something into my life that really belongs to her. A blouse, a chair, a set of curtains. Every now and then, I notice that I've stopped looking at the apartments which would suit the life I'm likely to have, and I've started looking at the houses she would want for her family.
And in the back of my mind I realise: we are not so far removed from each other after all.
Only a matter of degrees, really.
In the grand scheme of things.
In this other universe, there's another earth - and on this other earth, there's another me. She's not that far removed from the me who's typing these words - only a matter of degrees in the grand scheme of things.
We followed the same path, made the same decisions and moved in the same direction for the first nineteen years of our lives. Then, at some point (I'm not sure exactly where or when) she turned left when I turned right. From that moment on a series of small steps, minor choices and insignificant decisions lead our paths further away from each other until, six months later, she was in a different place to me both physically and metaphorically.
And so it happened that she said "hello" to someone I've never met, under circumstances in which in I probably would have said nothing. Some weeks after that she said "yes" when I would have found a reason to say "no". A few months later, she took a risk I would have been too afraid to take, and it paid off. It wasn't long after that she found a reason to change her surname (something I've never particularly wanted to do), and as the years passed she made several more decisions and changes to her lifestyle that I have never been interested in making.
And now, almost ten years later, as we both stare down the barrel of a certain birthday, we are in very different place, both physically and metaphorically.
She lives in a different city, is married and has three children. She's recently gone back to work as a teacher aide in a kindergarten, doing her bit to pay off the mortgage they owe on a house that's been feeling too small for a while now. They're thinking of selling up and moving out to the country - somewhere further south, like Victoria.
She has this dream, you see, of a big, sprawling farmhouse somewhere in the country. A place fit for a large family (maybe as many as six kids) - someplace where their grandkids can come every summer and run wild. She wants a place in a colder climate - maybe somewhere where it snows in winter. And she wants a place big enough for a small orchard with apple and cherry trees and a large vegetable garden.
She envisions days spent tending the farm and taking care of her family - a life that rolls with the seasons: pruning, sowing, tending, harvesting. Sewing clothes for her kids and grandkids, making quilts for friends and family, bringing in the harvest and making vinegar, jam and cider.
She'll be involved with the local community groups, getting together with the other women to make and create and grow and do. To organise and plan and help make the town a home - a community.
And between these things - these acts of living - she'll write novels and articles for magazines. Maybe she'll never be a great writer, but she might get some things published and she'll amuse herself in the meantime. After all, deep down she's always wanted to be a story teller.
I know these things about her because we aren't so far removed, really - only a couple of degrees in the grand scheme of things. Occasionally, when the stars align, our daydreams overlap. I see these things she wants for her future, and I can feel them pulling at me. Things I don't normally think I want. Things that don't lie in my path.
If I had spent the last ten years living her life instead of mine, perhaps I could look forward to this future she dreams of. But I didn't, and I don't have the groundwork she has laid for herself. Maybe some of these things will fall into my reach, but many of them never will.
And, to be honest, if you asked me - me - what I want for my future, I couldn't really say this future she dreams of is the future I would choose. Especially if I was being practical and thinking about the steps that are logically available for me to take.
And yet, every now and then, I notice I have brought something into my life that really belongs to her. A blouse, a chair, a set of curtains. Every now and then, I notice that I've stopped looking at the apartments which would suit the life I'm likely to have, and I've started looking at the houses she would want for her family.
And in the back of my mind I realise: we are not so far removed from each other after all.
Only a matter of degrees, really.
In the grand scheme of things.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
White Skates
Okay, some of you might be aware of my entrenched hatred for gendered products.
For those of you who aren't, one of the things I hate most in the world is the idea of a Men's this or a Women's that. Every time, without fail, there is a product that comes in men's and women's versions, the women's version is usually weaker, less functional and more pointless than the men's version. Oh, and often in some ghastly shade of pink.
I refuse to accept the "fact" that, as a women, I deserve to have the crappiest version of whatever's going. I also refuse to accept the idea that there is a better, stronger, more useful version of this thing, but I can only have it if I'm also making some sort of comment about my own gender identity. Plus, I happen to like brown and blue. I find those colours much more appealing than those ghastly pinks, and more likely to suit my hair and skin colouring (redheads can't pull off most pinks - it's true).
I can embrace the idea of men's and women's versions only when there is an actual and physical difference between what men and women will do with this product or how they will wear it. Underpants, for example. I have no problems at all with men's and women's underpants being designed differently. I'm also quite fond of the idea that women's bicycle shorts would have a different shaped chamois to accommodate the wider pelvic bones most women have.
However, when those same women's bike shorts are more restrictive, made out of flimsier material and have smaller pockets which are less secure than the men's version... Well that make me cross.
Anyway, the latest thing to greatly annoy me is roller skates. I need a knew pair. This time 'round I want a good quality outdoor pair instead of a cheap indoor pair with plastic trucks.
Have you tried looking at the "good" roller skates? Let's just say that, as a woman, I am allowed to wear white skates with smallish wheels. The gents are allowed to wear black skates with a wide selection of wheel sizes. Oh, I could also get a pair of tan skates if I wanted to, but the wheel selection for those is pathetic.
Also, as a woman with big feet, I might not be allowed to wear skates at all. The sizes only go up to ten, and I'm usually an eleven, so I don't get skates. Not unless I go for a pair of men's skates - and, of course, everyone will know I'm wearing men's skates because they'll be black...
What if a man wants a pair of white skates? What if I want a pair of tan skates with the 100ml quadline wheels? These options should be available, but they're not. Why? because of product gendering.
If I want gender appropriate skates, I have to get a pair that will get dirty quickly if I dare use them outdoors (why would I want to do that with my outdoor skates anyway?) and won't roll as far or as fast as the men's skates (but why would a woman want to travel any distance with any efficiency anyway?) - and I'll have to get a pair with a boot that's a size too small (but, as a woman, I shouldn't have such big feet anyway).
Looks like I'll just end up having to do what I always end up having to do - choose gender inappropriate products. I'll be damned if I pay good money for the lesser of two products just because I'm a woman.
For those of you who aren't, one of the things I hate most in the world is the idea of a Men's this or a Women's that. Every time, without fail, there is a product that comes in men's and women's versions, the women's version is usually weaker, less functional and more pointless than the men's version. Oh, and often in some ghastly shade of pink.
I refuse to accept the "fact" that, as a women, I deserve to have the crappiest version of whatever's going. I also refuse to accept the idea that there is a better, stronger, more useful version of this thing, but I can only have it if I'm also making some sort of comment about my own gender identity. Plus, I happen to like brown and blue. I find those colours much more appealing than those ghastly pinks, and more likely to suit my hair and skin colouring (redheads can't pull off most pinks - it's true).
I can embrace the idea of men's and women's versions only when there is an actual and physical difference between what men and women will do with this product or how they will wear it. Underpants, for example. I have no problems at all with men's and women's underpants being designed differently. I'm also quite fond of the idea that women's bicycle shorts would have a different shaped chamois to accommodate the wider pelvic bones most women have.
However, when those same women's bike shorts are more restrictive, made out of flimsier material and have smaller pockets which are less secure than the men's version... Well that make me cross.
Anyway, the latest thing to greatly annoy me is roller skates. I need a knew pair. This time 'round I want a good quality outdoor pair instead of a cheap indoor pair with plastic trucks.
Have you tried looking at the "good" roller skates? Let's just say that, as a woman, I am allowed to wear white skates with smallish wheels. The gents are allowed to wear black skates with a wide selection of wheel sizes. Oh, I could also get a pair of tan skates if I wanted to, but the wheel selection for those is pathetic.
Also, as a woman with big feet, I might not be allowed to wear skates at all. The sizes only go up to ten, and I'm usually an eleven, so I don't get skates. Not unless I go for a pair of men's skates - and, of course, everyone will know I'm wearing men's skates because they'll be black...
What if a man wants a pair of white skates? What if I want a pair of tan skates with the 100ml quadline wheels? These options should be available, but they're not. Why? because of product gendering.
If I want gender appropriate skates, I have to get a pair that will get dirty quickly if I dare use them outdoors (why would I want to do that with my outdoor skates anyway?) and won't roll as far or as fast as the men's skates (but why would a woman want to travel any distance with any efficiency anyway?) - and I'll have to get a pair with a boot that's a size too small (but, as a woman, I shouldn't have such big feet anyway).
Looks like I'll just end up having to do what I always end up having to do - choose gender inappropriate products. I'll be damned if I pay good money for the lesser of two products just because I'm a woman.
Monday, January 11, 2010
An interesting sentiment
The inscription reads:
In the grave there is peace
In life there is trouble and pain
Is this meant to be a comfort to people who might be living short, miserable lives, or was the guy buried here just really grumpy?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
How do you measure success?
Well, there you go. The terrorists are officially winning.
Oh, sure, they haven't actually managed to blow up any aircraft recently, but they don't have to. I doubt it was ever really their intention.
What they have done, and done quite successfully, is prompt the US to create a world where people are less likely to go anywhere near North America.
I've completely crossed the USA and Canada off my list of places I'm likely to visit any time soon.
Note that, I said "and Canada". Why? Because I'm likely to need to change planes on US soil, and I'm just not going to do that. Oh, and any other country that would require changing planes in Hawaii? Yeah, I'm not going there either.
Mexico's off the list as well. I don't know if I have to stop over in the US to get there, but I'm pretty darn sure the US will be having a strong say in Mexico's security protocols.
South America, I don't know. It depends on whether or not the US bullies them into having similar security measures.
Now, there is, of course, the argument that I shouldn't worry about the security measures if I've got nothing to hide. I've heard that over and over again with the vox pops on the news: "Yeah, it's inconvenient, but you know, I've got nothing to hide so I've got nothing to worry about".
That's not the point. The point is, most of the security measures we already have are stupid, pointless, unlikely to make a true difference to our security AND strangely profitable to people selling stuff at airports. The new measures America is trying to bring in will just make it worse.
A full body scan that shows every detail of your body to whoever happens to be looking at the screen at the time? I wouldn't consent to a strip search without good reason and controlled conditions. Why should I consent to that?
And you will never - and I mean never - be able to convince me that the liquids thing isn't some money making scheme by airports. A 600ml, clear plastic bottle of water is not a threat. I can buy a 600ml bottle of water outside the airport for $2. Better than that, I can fill such a water bottle with water from my tap at home for next to nothing. However, I can't take that water bottle into the departure lounge. Once in the departure lounge, I can buy a new bottle of water for twice the price... but then I can't take it on the plane, which means I have to buy another, hideously expensive bottle of water at the next airport. If I'm catching a connecting flight, I won't be able to take that water bottle with me either...
There's a question everyone asks in those crime shows that clutter the TV schedules: "Who benefits?" It's not the travelling people of the world. It's not the countries which are now, thankfully, safe from water kept in clear plastic containers. It's the shops in the airport that sell the stuff we can't take with us any more.
And the thing is, the things they let us take onto the planes are no safer than the things they refuse. A laptop battery is a greater threat than a water bottle. The chain I wear around my neck, which never sets off the metal detectors, is a more useful weapon than the nail clippers I can't take with me... there's no real rhyme or reason to what you can and cannot do for "security purposes".
The fact of the matter is, anyone who actually wants to hurt people can and will, regardless of what conditions are placed on us all. These security measures are inconveniencing us for no good reason, and now they are completely invading our privacy for no good reason. Oh, these "security measures" look good on paper. You can hold them up and say "see what we are doing to ensure your safety?" But my safety is not ensured. It never can be. You are taking away my liberties and privacy to give me false promises in their place.
In its infinite wisdom, the US government has decided to punish the whole world for the actions of a few people. That's all this amounts to.
Now, I've been a teacher, and I've tried the "keep the whole class in" technique. In theory, the bad kids should realise they're hurting their friends, and their friends should beat them up in the car park for revenge, thus encouraging them to improve their behaviour. It never works. The bad kids don't change their ways for the sake of the others in the class, and the good kids realise they're trapped in a hopeless situation and start hating the person who is punishing them for being in the same room as the people who deserve the punishment.
That's where the US is heading with this. Eventually, more and more people are just going to say "stuff this, America has made travelling miserable and I hate them."
Thus, the terrorist have accomplished their goal of making the whole world hate America as much as they do. Rather ingenious, really.
Oh, sure, they haven't actually managed to blow up any aircraft recently, but they don't have to. I doubt it was ever really their intention.
What they have done, and done quite successfully, is prompt the US to create a world where people are less likely to go anywhere near North America.
I've completely crossed the USA and Canada off my list of places I'm likely to visit any time soon.
Note that, I said "and Canada". Why? Because I'm likely to need to change planes on US soil, and I'm just not going to do that. Oh, and any other country that would require changing planes in Hawaii? Yeah, I'm not going there either.
Mexico's off the list as well. I don't know if I have to stop over in the US to get there, but I'm pretty darn sure the US will be having a strong say in Mexico's security protocols.
South America, I don't know. It depends on whether or not the US bullies them into having similar security measures.
Now, there is, of course, the argument that I shouldn't worry about the security measures if I've got nothing to hide. I've heard that over and over again with the vox pops on the news: "Yeah, it's inconvenient, but you know, I've got nothing to hide so I've got nothing to worry about".
That's not the point. The point is, most of the security measures we already have are stupid, pointless, unlikely to make a true difference to our security AND strangely profitable to people selling stuff at airports. The new measures America is trying to bring in will just make it worse.
A full body scan that shows every detail of your body to whoever happens to be looking at the screen at the time? I wouldn't consent to a strip search without good reason and controlled conditions. Why should I consent to that?
And you will never - and I mean never - be able to convince me that the liquids thing isn't some money making scheme by airports. A 600ml, clear plastic bottle of water is not a threat. I can buy a 600ml bottle of water outside the airport for $2. Better than that, I can fill such a water bottle with water from my tap at home for next to nothing. However, I can't take that water bottle into the departure lounge. Once in the departure lounge, I can buy a new bottle of water for twice the price... but then I can't take it on the plane, which means I have to buy another, hideously expensive bottle of water at the next airport. If I'm catching a connecting flight, I won't be able to take that water bottle with me either...
There's a question everyone asks in those crime shows that clutter the TV schedules: "Who benefits?" It's not the travelling people of the world. It's not the countries which are now, thankfully, safe from water kept in clear plastic containers. It's the shops in the airport that sell the stuff we can't take with us any more.
And the thing is, the things they let us take onto the planes are no safer than the things they refuse. A laptop battery is a greater threat than a water bottle. The chain I wear around my neck, which never sets off the metal detectors, is a more useful weapon than the nail clippers I can't take with me... there's no real rhyme or reason to what you can and cannot do for "security purposes".
The fact of the matter is, anyone who actually wants to hurt people can and will, regardless of what conditions are placed on us all. These security measures are inconveniencing us for no good reason, and now they are completely invading our privacy for no good reason. Oh, these "security measures" look good on paper. You can hold them up and say "see what we are doing to ensure your safety?" But my safety is not ensured. It never can be. You are taking away my liberties and privacy to give me false promises in their place.
In its infinite wisdom, the US government has decided to punish the whole world for the actions of a few people. That's all this amounts to.
Now, I've been a teacher, and I've tried the "keep the whole class in" technique. In theory, the bad kids should realise they're hurting their friends, and their friends should beat them up in the car park for revenge, thus encouraging them to improve their behaviour. It never works. The bad kids don't change their ways for the sake of the others in the class, and the good kids realise they're trapped in a hopeless situation and start hating the person who is punishing them for being in the same room as the people who deserve the punishment.
That's where the US is heading with this. Eventually, more and more people are just going to say "stuff this, America has made travelling miserable and I hate them."
Thus, the terrorist have accomplished their goal of making the whole world hate America as much as they do. Rather ingenious, really.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Phone number
"I'm telling you this in an email", he says, "because I've lost your phone number again..."
And I suddenly have to fight the urge to laugh out loud.
Lost my phone number again? Lost my phone number again? My good man, I've given you my phone number no less than six times. You've never "lost" it - you've never "kept" it! Not that it matters, I can't remember you ever using it.
I'd just like to point out something. Just bring it to your attention. Every time we bump into each other and have a chat, you finish the conversation by asking me to keep in touch, and saying you'll call me later. Every time.
Not once have you actually called me later. I don't actually expect you to (which is probably just as well), but you keep saying you're going to. Why? There's no precedent for you calling me. You haven't done it before, I don't expect you to start doing it any time soon...
And as for the "keep in touch" thing? Well, it helps if you don't ignore most of my emails. I'm just saying. It may surprise you to know that people are more likely to keep in touch with you if you also keep in touch with them.
Unless, of course, you don't want to. I've long suspected the reason why you "lose" my phone number is because you don't want it. Just as I've long suspected the reason why you don't reply to my emails is because you don't want me to send them. I'm actually okay with this concept, it's just that every time we talk you finish up by telling me to "keep in touch" - and you sound like you mean it.
It's like some strange compulsion you have.
Tell you what, just to make life easier, why don't we establish a fallacy that can save us both some time and effort:
"Oh, I don't have a phone. Sorry."
And I suddenly have to fight the urge to laugh out loud.
Lost my phone number again? Lost my phone number again? My good man, I've given you my phone number no less than six times. You've never "lost" it - you've never "kept" it! Not that it matters, I can't remember you ever using it.
I'd just like to point out something. Just bring it to your attention. Every time we bump into each other and have a chat, you finish the conversation by asking me to keep in touch, and saying you'll call me later. Every time.
Not once have you actually called me later. I don't actually expect you to (which is probably just as well), but you keep saying you're going to. Why? There's no precedent for you calling me. You haven't done it before, I don't expect you to start doing it any time soon...
And as for the "keep in touch" thing? Well, it helps if you don't ignore most of my emails. I'm just saying. It may surprise you to know that people are more likely to keep in touch with you if you also keep in touch with them.
Unless, of course, you don't want to. I've long suspected the reason why you "lose" my phone number is because you don't want it. Just as I've long suspected the reason why you don't reply to my emails is because you don't want me to send them. I'm actually okay with this concept, it's just that every time we talk you finish up by telling me to "keep in touch" - and you sound like you mean it.
It's like some strange compulsion you have.
Tell you what, just to make life easier, why don't we establish a fallacy that can save us both some time and effort:
"Oh, I don't have a phone. Sorry."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)