Stick it

Okay, so after wondering about this Nordic Walking thingy for over a year, I finally bought some sticks and gave it a go. Just a simple stroll down to the local park and back. I firmly believe that if you're going to do something that will cause everyone who sees you to think you're a bit odd, you should do it for the first time in your local streets were all your neighbours can see you. That way, a) it gets it over and done with so everything is much less awkward from then on (the live toad principle), and b) if you fall over and hurt yourself, someone might know where you live and get you back home.

I probably would have done it months ago except you can't buy Nordic Walking poles in North Queensland. I actually still don't own any NW poles - I bought a set of hiking poles that mentioned being "suitable for everyday use" as well as hiking. I assumed that was code for "we know that, in this country, only a small handful of fringe dwelling lunatics are even aware of what Nordic Walking is, so we won't mention it - however, should you wish to walk around with a set of poles on a daily basis, these will work."

You can, actually, buy something called "fitness poles" from K-Mart for $20 or $30, but I couldn't bring myself to buy them. It's not that I'm usually against buying cheap exercise equipment from K-Mart, but it's more to do with a vision of the future that involved a cheap fiberglass pole thingy snapping in half just as I tripped over my own feet, thus impaling myself on my own tightwaddiness. I'm mildly convinced the fact that a) I'm a klutz and b) I keep doing things that klutzes shouldn't do (unicycling, buying a penny farthing, running down a mountain, cycling through a small European country, etc) is probably an indication that I'm going to kill myself in some rather embarrassing fashion. Every now and then I stop myself and say "no, no, that will surely lead to certain death", but I just know at some point someone's going to have to tell my mother I finally managed to get myself killed - to which I'm almost entirely sure she'll respond: "Typical".

If I do end up dying as a result of my own stupidity, I'd like the following words inscribed on my headstone:

I sent a message to the fish
I told them, this is what I wish

The little fishes of the sea
They sent a message back to me

The little fishes' answer was:
"We cannot do it, Sir, because --"

Yes, I know that makes no sense - but it makes me happy. Story of my life, really...

Anyway, I don't think the NW will actually kill me at this point (although you never can tell). In fact, I think they might do me some good. It was just a little walk, but I could feel the difference in my arms and upper body afterwards. Plus, it was actually quite fun. Living in the tropics I don't really get the chance to propel myself with poles that often, but it turns out to be a rather pleasant activity.

I do believe I'll do it again. Good thing, really, since I now own a set of poles and all...