Pre-fab Neighbourhoods

I stole this from one of my own comments on someone else's blog. Shh, don't tell anyone (not that anyone reads this thing, anyway). It was a reply to a post on translating street names into English.

In Australia we're getting a lot of what I call "pre-fab neighbourhoods".

Someone just ups-and-buys a wide stretch of bushland where the wallabies roam, the kites have their nests in the trees, the plovers have their nests on the ground and the various skinks, snakes and goannas run free... Then they bulldoze the lot and turn it into these tiny blocks of land on these torturous "streets" where people who should have more sense build houses that are a) ugly and b) too big.

There are many things about these pre-fabricated neighbourhoods that annoy me. One is the fact that they are often built in known flood plains, but the body corporate bi-laws insist that all houses in these estates be low-block. There's a reason why the classic "Queenslander" style house is raised, you morons. Pay attention.

Another is the way they give the streets cutsey and entirely inappropriate names. 'Riverside Boulevard', for a street that isn't a boulevard. 'Hampton Circuit' for something that is clearly a Crescent. And, oh! The number of streets calling themselves "parades" or "avenues", when they are clearly just plain, old fashioned streets.

Heck, they don't even bother to plant trees along the avenues. That's completely missing the point.

Also, most of these street-like things just turn back in on themselves in a sinuous, sinister manner designed to squeeze more houses into a small area, rendering most of these estates impenetrable rabbit warrens - and some how they keep building "streets" that are too narrow for a fire truck to get past any car that might be parked on the side of the road.

I swear, this sort of thing shouldn't be legal. Heck, it probably isn't (it's amazing the way enough money can make laws 'go away').

Anyway, I guess my point is, sometimes the English speaking countries shouldn't be allowed to name their own streets. No one else should be expected to get them right under these circumstances.