Sunday, October 10, 2010

You know who you are...

... and you probably won't read this anyway.

Now, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but as much as I love you and as much as you know you're loved, I find your apartment vaguely depressing.

It's not that the ceiling is falling down, or that the kitchen drawers are broken, or that the oven doesn't close properly (and therefore won't cook properly), or that the bath tub is some cheap little spa-thing with plastic parts that are starting to break down, or that your toilet looks like it's been cleaned by a teenage boy who is secretly hoping toilets are largely "self-cleaning"...

Rather, it is the culmination of all these things combined with the size of that monstrosity you call a TV set. I'm sorry, but people should not be investing in televisions that large when a) they already have a perfectly functioning TV, and b) the ceiling is falling down!

Yes, I know I'm unbelievably picky, and I'm not living there, and if you're living there and you're happy with things they way they are then I should just keep my nose out of other people's blah blah blah

But, Good Lord, man! Your ceiling is falling down!

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